miércoles, julio 23, 2008

Hancock

Queridos amigos,

estoy pensando en hacer una sección de crítica de cine... Si pudiera ir al cine más a menudo, sin pensarlo lo haría. Lo que pasa es que desde hace unos años sólo voy a ver putos dibujos animados, de los que estoy un poco hasta los huevos, todo hay que decirlo.

Ayer, sin embargo, habida cuenta de mi condición de Rodríguez, me fui con mis hermanos a ver...

¡¡HANCOCK!!

Una peli de adult... Bueno. Una peli que no es de dibujos animados, al menos no del todo ¿no? Bueno. Una película, al fin y al cabo.

Aquí el trailer



Se la voy a destrozar, si es que el trailer no se la ha destrozado ya bastante por si mismo, así que si tienen intención de tirar el dinero yendo a verla, dejen de leer en este mismo momento.

Hancock (Will Smith) es un superhéroe bastante capullo. Aunque la idea no es nueva, que "Los increíbles" ya la utilizaron, el asunto es que cada vez que interviene para detener a tres chorizos, le cuesta una pasta a la ciudad.

Hancock es, hasta ahí, un personaje genial (por eso yo quería verla): no es un superhéroe, sino un superantihéroe: es un tipo duro que vuela, le rebotan las balas, es superfuerte, bebe demasiado, no se lava, no se afeita, es borde que te cagas (sobre todo con los niños), intenta tocar el culo a la chicas por la calle, es un guarro... No tiene remedio.

Hasta que se enamora y, entonces, se vuelve un blandengue por la intervención de un capullo soñador que quiere cambiar el mundo pidiéndole a las farmacéuticas que regalen los medicamentos a los que no pueden pagarlos (jajajajajajajaja, la mejor escena de la película. ¡Qué capullo).

Hancock se enamora, sí, y empieza a afeitarse, deja de salir con los amigotes (en verdad, no tiene un puto amigo, pero si los tuviera, habría dejado de salir con ellos), deja la bebida, usa la servilleta, pide perdón...

Se vuelve un superhéroe normal y deja de molar. Así que, por mí, en este punto en que Hancock deja de meter cabezas en los culos, se acababa la película. Tampoco hay que echárselo mucho en cara, porque a Charlize Theron le han quitado la cara de belleza intocable y está que rompe. Todo sea dicho.

Hancock enamorado se vuelve tan blandengue, tanto, que hasta pierde sus superpoderes. Y ya no cuento más. Me limito a la definición que de "Amor" ofrece Ambrose Bierce en "El diccionario del diablo": "Amor: locura temporal que se cura con el matrimonio o alejando al paciente de las influencias que le hicieron sufrir el trastorno".

X. Bea-Murguía (no vayan a verla).

43 Comments:

Anonymous Anónimo said...

Oiga, no se lo tome a risa, que yo perdí mis superpoderes cuando conocí a mi mujer; para ser exactos, cuando conocí a su madre; se me cayeron al suelo junto con ciertos elementos pares de mi anatomía...
Respecto a lo de regalar las medicinas, puede sonar exagerado, pero siempre hay excepciones, como, por ejemplo, la Viagra... una alegría para los pobres no está de más.
Fdo: Clerk Kant, superhéroe y pensador.

23 julio, 2008 09:36  
Anonymous Anónimo said...

Sr Kant: usted tiene sus superpoderes intactos. Otra cosa es que no quiera utilizarlos. Eso es otra cosa.

Con afecto, me ponga a los pies de su suegra de usted:

Javier

23 julio, 2008 10:50  
Anonymous Ibero said...

Pero Clerk ¿conociste a tu suegra DESPUES de casarte con tu hasta-ese-momento-novia?¿O estamos hablando de una especie de "mutación" tipo "digievolución"?

Como señala Javier los poderes no se pierden ni se caen. Se atrofian de no usarlos. Junto con más cosas.

Pues yo pensaba ir a ver esta película, pero empieza a no gustarme la idea. Mañana iremos a ver, D.m., el Superagente 86, a ver que tal.

Ya os diré.

PD: Javi tengo una comida pendiente con Vd., no se me olvida.

23 julio, 2008 11:00  
Anonymous Anónimo said...

Íbero, la dejaremos para más adelante, si te parece, porque mañana, antes de comer, pillo carretera y manta.

Desde aquí huelo los percebes.

Un abrazo

Javier

23 julio, 2008 11:11  
Anonymous Ibero said...

Nada. A la vuelta, que yo me voy a la Sierra de Gredos la semana que viene, a ponerme hasta la coronilla de jabalí, alubias y lo que sea menester.

Pero ni perdono ni olvido. ;)

23 julio, 2008 13:12  
Anonymous Anónimo said...

Joer... Una dieta lait, que se dice.

Si te queda hambre para cuando vuelvas, quedamos a comer.

Que aproveche!!!

Javier

23 julio, 2008 13:51  
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